Call for signature-gathering ideas

One guy collecting one signature at a time will not get 160,000 signatures by July 1. I don’t know if it would be possible even if I never ate, slept, or went to the bathroom. This thing is hopeless, an exercise in futility. Which reminds me not to take it too seriously.
You wouldn’t believe the people I’ve met and the conversations I’ve had. Seriously, it should be a duty of citizenship to gather signatures for a petition. I am learning more about people in the last few months than I did in 10 years in software.
I met a gal who wears red cowboy boots and loved Dark Shadows (the old TV show). She signed, but couldn’t help gather signatures.
I met another gal whose hands were all loamy. Not really, but she was coming out of Molbak’s and looking like she was going straight to her garden. We had a really nice conversation about decay as part of the cycle of life. How decay creates dark, beautiful loam. Lovely it is to dig your hands into good, rich loam. She didn’t think she would sign my petition. It just didn’t seem right to her, somehow.
In Pike Place Market a busker waiting his turn at a spot (he plays organ, looks like he’s fresh off a Grateful Dead tour) signed, but not until after telling me the history of busking. Long history. It was lunchtime before I got his signature.
An Indian who was looking out over the Sound from Steinbrueck Park listened, then said, “That’s a good one. That’s what your government thought they were doing.”
That got my back up. “Were they right?”
“There’s lots of kinds of decay.”
No doubt; would he sign my petition? He signed “Kamiakin,” without an address.
An old guy who looked like he’s been out in the weather too long listened long enough to work Decay Preserves into his anti-semitic theories. Apparently the Jews invented decay preserves to further their enslavement of mankind. He had documents to prove it.
A stylishly dressed woman bustled out of an office tower and skidded to a stop. “Can you make it fast?” I said my piece, and she critiqued the pitch. But didn’t sign.
A guy who ran out of money here on his way to Alaska listened with a lot of interest. But he’s not a registered voter.
The symphony finished me off. Outside Kreielsheimer Hall, a woman hauling her cello into the musicians’ entrance waved me off like I was one of the street’s cadre of crazies. My very next guy was a street preacher in layers of coats and a plaid hunter’s cap. He tried to tell me about how severe God’s judgment will be on us all, really soon, while I tried to tell him about Decay Preserves. I shouldn’t have bothered, but I couldn’t resist. I felt like he should have to listen to another madman’s spiel. Two crazy kids…trying to convert each other.
So, after all that, I had 14 signatures and felt like, without being homeless, I’d descended from a nice office job to the street, with a crazy spiel. It’s been great, but….
Maybe there are better things to do.
Or maybe I crowdsource for ideas.
Okay, I’m putting out the call—starting here, starting now—for ideas on how I can gather great masses of signatures in a very short time. One of the ground rules is that I don’t hire signature gatherers. Also, any idea shouldn’t cost any more than, say, a grand. The ideas should be grand, but the cost can’t be. I need grand on the cheap. So: ideas, anyone?